Taking self worth out of the equation in Romantic Relationships
Taking self worth out of the equation in Romantic Relationships
“A healthy romantic relationship is an interdependent relationship - not a codependent one. An interdependent relationship is one where two people who have a healthy sense of Self worth, choose to become partners, to form a union. Two whole individuals - or more accurately (since as I have stated in past articles, we are all wounded and learning to access a True sense of self/Self worth) two people who are in recovery from their codependency working on owning their inherent worth and wholeness as beings, working on learning to be emotionally healthy and honest - who form an alliance / partnership with each other, not two half people who come together to feel whole.” “The critical parent disease voice - old tapes / subconscious and conscious intellectual ego programming - tells us what losers and failures we are. The wounded inner child places react out of pain and shame from our childhood - the places within us where we feel unlovable and defective. We blame ourselves for the relationship ending with codependent messages like: if only I had not said that; I should have done that; I will never have a good relationship; I will always be alone; etc. Or we go to the other extreme and try to blame it all on the other person. People stalk and murder ex lovers because of the blow they feel they have suffered to their self worth - because they feel they have lost the source / drug that was making life bearable.” “Getting our hearts broken is a normal and natural part of life. Blaming our self or the other person is codependency. The emotional pain of a heart break is very painful, but it gets better over time. The blame and shame of codependency causes us to be bitter and resentful, causes us to avoid relationships or to pick another person who will recreate our wounds - another person to try to fill the hole we feel inside of our self.”
This is an article in a series of articles focused upon issues involving gender, sexuality, romantic relationships, and directly related topics.
Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney is copyright 1995. Material on Joy2MeU web site (except where otherwise noted) is copyright 1996 thru 2015 by Robert Burney PO Box 98 Fallbrook CA 92088.
Taking self worth out of the equation in Romantic Relationships was originally published online January 27, 2004 on Robert’s Inner Child/Codependency Recovery page on the Suite101.com Directory. Some slight changes were made in moving this article to Joy2MeU.com - primarily in removing references to other articles on suite101 and changing the links for those articles to counterparts on Joy2MeU.
Originally published at https://joy2meu.com/self_worth_romance.htm