Codependent Defenses - Part 2 disassociation vs healthy detachment
Codependent Defenses - Part 2 disassociation vs healthy detachment
“I have stated previously in many places - and refer to in the quote from my book above - that codependency is an emotional and behavioral defense system adapted by our egos in early childhood to help us survive living in the “Spiritually hostile, emotionally repressive, dysfunctional environments into which we were born.” In this dysfunctional emotional and behavioral defense system, the “critical parent voice” is the ego’s enforcer. It developed to try to control our emotions and behavior so that we could survive. It uses the same tools that our parents used to try to control our behavior - fear, shame, and guilt.” “In recovery we are learning to develop a functional internal relationship with self - which will allow us to have healthier relationships with others. The key to doing that is detachment. The difference between disassociation and healthy detachment in my definition, is that disassociation is an unconscious reaction, a conditioned reflex - it is our default programming. Disassociation is a survival tool that helps us to not be conscious - that promotes lack of consciousness. Detachment in my definition, is not only conscious, but it is the key to consciousness raising, to en-Light-ment, to Spiritual awakening and emotional balance. It is the key to reprogramming our ego defenses and getting in touch with our True Self, with our Spirit / Soul.” “It is healthy detachment that makes it possible to develop the objective observer / witness perspective that I talk about as vital to the inner child healing work, to the integration work. The detached observer is necessary to start changing one’s relationship with self and life - and it becomes the mature adult we put in charge of our inner process and our life. In order to be in conscious recovery from our codependency it is necessary to develop this detached observer perspective so that we can turn down the volume of the critical parent voice and turn up the volume on the “the small quiet voice.” That small quiet voice is our intuition - it is our Spirit speaking to us. And our intuition is an emotional communication that we cannot get clear on until we start being able to have some discernment and detachment when relating to our own internal process”
On this page is an article by inner child healing pioneer / Spiritual Teacher / codependency therapist on his fear of emotional intimacy defenses.
Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney is copyright 1995. Material on Joy2MeU web site (except where otherwise noted) is copyright 1996 thru 2018 by Robert Burney PO Box 1028 Cambria CA 93428.
Codependent Defenses - Part 2 disassociation vs healthy detachmentwas originally published online September 29, , 2004 on the Inner Child / Codependency Recovery topic page Robert used to write for the Suite101.com Directory.
Originally published at https://joy2meu.com/detach_vs_disassociate.htm