Codependent Relationships Dynamics - Codependent & Counterdependent Behavior

“Some of us (classic codependent behavior) tried to control through people pleasing, being a chameleon, wearing a mask, dancing to other people’s tunes. Some of us (classic counterdependent behavior) protected ourselves/tried to be in control by pretending that we didn’t need other people. Either way we were living life in reaction to our childhood wounds - we were not making clear, conscious choices.” “Each of us has our own spectrum of behavioral defenses to protect us from being hurt emotionally. We can be codependent in one relationship and counterdependent in another - or we can swing from co to counter - within the same relationship.” “Both the classic codependent patterns and the classic counterdependent patterns are behavioral defenses, strategies, designed to protect us from being abandoned. One tries to protect against abandonment by avoiding confrontation and pleasing the other - while the second tries to avoid abandonment by pretending we don’t need anyone else. Both are dysfunctional and dishonest.”

This is the third in a series of articles by codependency therapist/Spiritual teacher about the ways in which romantic relationships in our society are set up to be dysfunctional.

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Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney is copyright 1995. Material on Joy2MeU web site (except where otherwise noted) is copyright 1996 thru 2019 by Robert Burney PO Box 1028 Cambria CA 93428.

This series of articles was originally published online on the Inner Child/Codependency Recovery page that I edit for Suite101.com Directory - although bits and pieces of the articles have been part of articles and web pages published previously.

Originally published at https://joy2meu.com/codependent3.htm