Setting Internal Boundaries in relationship to Romantic, Sexual Relationships
Setting Internal Boundaries in relationship to Romantic, Sexual Relationships
“A key to the inner child healing process that I discovered in my own recovery and developed in teaching other people how to become empowered to change their relationship with themselves into a more Loving one, is learning to set internal boundaries. These boundaries are in relationship to a variety of different levels and facets of the process, but are vitally important in terms of learning how to stop reacting out of the old wounds and old tapes.” “It is because romantic relationships trigger so many of our old wounds and old tapes that I believe that romantic relationships are the greatest arena for Spiritual and emotional growth available to us. It is in the relationships that involve opening our heart to another person that our codependent defenses are most elaborate and powerful. We of course open our hearts - and can learn a great deal about our own wounding - in relationships other than romantic, but romantic relationship include the levels of physical / sexual intimacy so are the relationships most impacted by the sexual and sexuality abuse (including emotional incest) issues that I have been talking about in recent articles in this series.” “We all have at least one place within us where we feel desperately needy and lonely. An inner child within us who feels like the person we are romantically involved with is the source of love in our life - and that if we lose them we will die. That desperately needy inner child place - either by itself or in combination with other parts of our interior landscape such as the romantic within, the addict within, the maiden or horndog within, the magical thinking child, the king/queen baby who wants instant gratification, and others - is / are the part(s) within us that drive relationship addiction. It is that part / those parts of us, that causes us to get clingy and needy in relationships - or to go to the opposite extreme and run away (or try to push the other person away) because we are so scared of the neediness we are trying to deny in our self.”
This is an article in a series of articles focused upon issues involving gender, sexuality, romantic relationships, and directly related topics.
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Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney is copyright 1995. Material on Joy2MeU web site (except where otherwise noted) is copyright 1996 thru 2018 by Robert Burney PO Box 1028 Cambria CA 93428.
This article Setting Internal Boundaries in relationship to Romantic, Sexual Relationships was originally published online December 29, 2003 on Robert’s Inner Child/Codependency Recovery page on the Suite101.com Directory. Some slight changes were made in moving this article to Joy2MeU.com - primarily in removing references to other articles on suite101 and changing the links for those articles to counterparts on Joy2MeU.
Originally published at https://joy2meu.com/Internal_boundaries_romance.htm