Healthy Relationships - Part 8, Pay Attention and Communicate
Healthy Relationships - Part 8, Pay Attention and Communicate
“People tell us who they are within a very short time of meeting them. Pay attention to what they are telling you. Watch and listen - this is part of being present that was spoken of in an earlier article. Do not let your desire for a relationship - your loneliness, horniness, starvation for nurturing and touch - blind you to the red flags the other person is waving before you.” *** “Being able to communicate is the only way to develop a healthy relationship. Being direct and honest in our communication is the way to develop healthy boundaries so that a relationship has a chance to grow. Boundaries in relationships are about 95% negotiation. Boundaries for the most part aren’t rigid (some are, like it is not ok to hit me or call me certain names or cheat on me, etc.) but most boundaries are a matter of negotiation, which of course involves direct, honest, communication.” *** “And in very important to remember that the reason we are doing this is to share our inner self and to help ourselves take the power away from the feelings by owning them - the point is not to control the other person. The purpose of saying “I am afraid you will get angry” is not to prevent the other person from getting angry, it is to help the other person understand you (in-to-me-see).”
On this page is the eighth in a series of articles by Spiritual teacher/codependency therapist focused on healthy romantic relationship behavior.
Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney is copyright 1995. Material on Joy2MeU web site (except where otherwise noted) is copyright 1996 thru 2015 by Robert Burney PO Box 98 Fallbrook CA 92088.
This column was originally published on February 22, 2000 on the Inner Child/Codependency Recovery page that I edit for Suite101.com Directory.
Originally published at https://joy2meu.com/Healthy_Relationships8.htm