Healthy Relationships - Part 6, Romantic Love as a Concept
Healthy Relationships - Part 6, Romantic Love as a Concept
“In order to have healthier romantic relationships it is very important to examine our concept of romantic love. If we do not have a healthy concept - realistic definitions and beliefs about - romantic love, then we do not have much chance of having a healthy relationship. If our concept of romance is based on the fairy tales and books, songs and movies, from our childhoods, then we are set up to be disappointed in our romantic relationships.” “Whenever someone I have been working with answers the question “Why do you stay?” - in a relationship that is abusive or with someone who is unavailable - with the line “because I love him/her,” my response is “No, what is the real reason.” Because the “love” is never the bottom line. The bottom line is always fear. Fear of being alone, of not being able to support self, of never having another relationship, of getting in a worse relationship, etc.” “Romantic relationships are the greatest arena for Spiritual growth available to us. It is well worth the risk to take a chance on love if we are viewing it as a learning experience rather than the goal in, and of, itself. Romance is part of the journey - not the destination.” “Another way it is important to change our perspective of love is to own that falling in love is a choice. It is not some camouflaged trap in the sidewalk you are the victim of falling into. It is a choice. Get conscious about your choices. It is not smart, or functional, to choose to fall in love with someone who is unavailable.”
On this page is the sixth in a series of articles by Spiritual teacher/codependency therapist focused on healthy romantic relationship behavior.
Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney is copyright 1995. Material on Joy2MeU web site (except where otherwise noted) is copyright 1996 thru 2015 by Robert Burney PO Box 98 Fallbrook CA 92088.
Originally published on January 18, 2000 on the Inner Child/Codependency Recovery page that I used to edit for Suite101.com Directory. This article contains some elements that were present in the column Romantic Relationships and Valentine’s Day which originally appeared in the Information Press of San Luis Obispo California in 1996.
Originally published at https://joy2meu.com/Healthy_Relationships6.htm