The Emotional Dynamics of Dysfunctional Romantic Relationships 2

“A classic codependent scenario is being asked where you want to eat and saying “oh, I don’t care, wherever you want to” and then being angry because they take us somewhere we don’t like. We think they should be able to read our mind and know we don’t want to do whatever. Typically, in relationships, one partner will ask the other to do something and the person who can’t say “I don’t want to do that” - will agree to do it and then not do it. This will result in nagging and scolding which will cause more anger and passive-aggressive behavior.” *** “Passive-aggressive behavior can take the form of sarcasm, procrastination, chronic lateness, being a party pooper, constantly complaining, being negative, offering opinions and advice that is not asked for, being the martyr, slinging arrows (“whatever have you done to your hair”, “gained a little weight haven’t we?”), etc.” *** “As a kid I was very angry at my mother for not protecting me or herself from my father - but it was not ok to be angry at my mother so I was passive-aggressive in various ways. . . . I also “showed” her and my dad by not getting the type of grades as I was capable of getting in school. I have spent much of my life sabotaging myself to get back at them.” *** “Avoiding conflict also denies intimacy - we cannot be emotionally intimate with someone we can’t be angry at. Conflict is an inherent part of relationships and is to be worked through to grow from - conflict is an important part of the garden that grows deeper intimacy.”

On this page is part two of a web article by codependency therapist/Spiritual Teacher about the emotional dynamics of dysfunctional romantic relationships.

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Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney is copyright 1995. Material on Joy2MeU web site (except where otherwise noted) is copyright 1996 thru 2015 by Robert Burney PO Box 98 Fallbrook CA 92088.

Originally published at https://joy2meu.com/Dynamics.htm