Inspiration from the Big Book of Alcoholic Anonymous

“I hate the term “defects of character.” There could be no better term to describe toxic shame. That is what I felt most of my life - that I was somehow defective, that something was wrong with who I am. I prefer to refer to these “defects” as codependent behavior patterns and dysfunctional attitudes. They are part of the emotional defense system which we adapted to protect ourselves as children. They are not signs that we are defective, nor are they “wrongs” as step 5 states - they are dysfunctional because they do not work to help us have a Loving, fulfilling relationship with ourselves. They are a part of the disease of codependence that we were powerless over as long as we were unconscious to them. By starting to get conscious of these behavior patterns and attitudes we start to access the power to change them. That is what step 4 is Truly about - becoming conscious.” “According to this “old time” AA perspective, “outside issues” should not be discussed in AA meetings. There are many suffering codependents in AA who are not open minded enough to realize that Bill Wilson - one of the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous - would have loved to have had the tools we have available to us today. He would have run to an Adult Children of Alcoholics or Co-Dependents Anonymous meeting where he could have found the roots of the depression which tormented him. The suffering codependents in AA are terrified that if they don’t follow a rigid formula - the “right” way - in their recovery, they will end up drinking again.” “That rigid black and white thinking led in recent years to something which I personally find ridiculously petty. In the newest revision of the AA Big Book, the story that was most important to me in the book had it’s title change to remove the word addict. This chapter - which used to be called “Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict” - was written by a man named Dr. Paul. It was from his chapter that I got a lot of the basic foundation for my codependency recovery. His chapter was instrumental in my search for a Higher Power of my own understanding.”

On this page is an article by inner child healing pioneer / Spiritual Teacher / codependency therapist on his Spiritual beliefs

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Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney is copyright 1995. Material on Joy2MeU web site (except where otherwise noted) is copyright 1996 thru 2015 by Robert Burney PO Box 98 Fallbrook CA 92088.

Inspiration from the Big Book of Alcoholic Anonymous was originally published online on April 30, 2005 on my Inner Child / Codependency Recovery topic page on the Suite101.com Directory.

Originally published at https://joy2meu.com/Big_Book_AA.htm